Choices
by Cryysis
Summary: [BxE, Oneshot, After NM sequel]Bell'a sick and tired of Jake not answering her, and now that Charlie's let her up, she's going straight to La Push to set things straight. But something horrible has happened, and Bella will never be the same.


**Me: My newest One-shot, 'Choices', for my current favorite book, Twilight! Takes places after the sequel of New Moon.**

**Disclaimer: Bella, Jacob, Edward and all other likenesses of Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me.**

**Note: This may get a bit confusing, but remember, this is all from Bella's POV. If the story seems to take on a different mood towards the end, please know that's done intentionally.**

I was never really sure what I was going to do about Jacob. I'm still not sure, after all this time. Two months I'd gone without a word from him, and Charlie had only just let up on my groundation. So I was free to go wherever I wanted. And I wanted to go see my best friend, no matter how much he hated whatever was going to happen, or if he even hated me.

But I knew I had to wait. I couldn't just say to Edward "Hey, I'm gonna go see a pack of angry werewolves, I'll be back!" I wasn't stupid. He'd have never let me go. So I waited.

For two weeks, I waited, and finally the day came when Edward would go hunting with Alice and Emmett. That would only leave Rosalie, Carlisle, Jasper and Esme. They were all much easier to handle then the other three.

Alice hated Jake, for some reason I just couldn't seem to make sense of. Edward hated him to, and I knew why, even if I didn't like his reasoning. Emmett... Well, the guy can punch a whole through a number of steel walls. All of them can, but Emmett even more so. Yeah, I was really gonna go with him still home.

Edward was at my house, as he always was before he left, doing whatever it was that he did when he would be gone for longer then a period of two minutes.

"Edward, you've been in and out of the living room 50 times all ready. Calm down!" I called, knowing why he was like this. Victoria was still after me. Though there had been no recent sign of her, he was still being careful. As much as I wanted to be able to play superman every once in a while, I couldn't honestly say I completely disliked being Louis Lane.

"I'm sorry, it's just..." Edward finally paused, walking towards me and pulling me into an embrace. "I don't want to risk the chance. I want to know you'll be here when I come back."

Another smile and I tilted my head up, gently pressing my lips to his. "And I will be. At this rate, I'll be the safest person in the world."

My favorite crooked smile and he kissed me in return. "I love you."

"Me to."

He held me for a few minutes longer, and I finally patted his chest. "Go on and eat. It's not as if you can take me with you, anyways. I'm not allowed to be around when you hunt, remember?" I reminded him. It was becoming a habit since he'd proposed.

That had taken me a few weeks to digest. But, after much persuasion, and admittedly some yelling on all accounts, we'd decided. We were going to be married in little over half a year.

"You will be in about six and a half months. Don't do anything reckless while I'm gone, all right?" Though I knew he meant to sound teasing, the plea was true. I nodded, nuzzling him and letting him go.

"See you soon?" I asked, tapping his nose with my index finger. Again, my favorite smile.

"Soon." Edward kissed my forehead, my cheeks, temples, my closed eye-lids, and lastly my lips, parting them carefully with his.

I help properly still, and he hugged me when he finally pulled away. I hugged him back, not wanting to let him go, but wishing he'd let go of me. I still had something to accomplish. A horn blew loudly from outside, and we both laughed.

"All right, really now, go before Emmett has a cow." I head an indignant 'Hey', but ignored it, instead smiling widely.

Edward smiled with me. "I'll think of you."

I smiled, knowing he really would. "You'll drive your brother crazy. And you're doing this as an excuse to stay around me."

Edward looked he wasn't about to admit anything, which only made me laugh and send him on his way. "I'll see you in a few days."

With a final nod, Edward got into his shiny silver Volvo and drove off.

And I was left to my own devices.

I waited an hour. That's all I had to wait, knowing Edward would want to hurry up and get back to me. He hated letting me out of his site after all. I ran up my stairs, for once in my life not tripping before I changed. Some flare jeans, and a red shirt that said 'Here there be dragons,' on the front in big, bold letters. I grabbed a pair of sneakers and my motorcycle keys and helmet.

Alice probably saw this coming as soon as I'd made my decision. I had to hurry because I was sure that Edward would see it and try to come back and keep me from going to La Push. But sooner or later everyone was going to have to realize that I knew what I was doing when it came to Jake. He was still my best friend, and I'd hurt him first. I knew there was no way we ever had a chance of keeping that friendship if I couldn't even speak to him.

My motorcycle key was attached to my house keys. Making sure everything was locked; I hopped on my bike, started her up, and was off.

It hadn't taken me that long riding my bike. It never would, but I wasn't thinking about it. I had no clue as to what I'd say to Jacob. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I was scared. Not for my safety, but for his and Edwards, the Cullen's and the pack. The few months I'd spent with them had them a little over-protective, maybe more so then Edward was. But what would they say if I saw them, knowing that I'd hurt them all by staying with Edward.

But I knew that deep down inside, it wasn't them I was worried about. The only one who could break me, who had his own hole in my chest, was Jacob Black.

I pulled up to Billy's, cutting the engine and taking off my helmet. Setting it on the side, I kept my keys with me and walked silently up to the door, knocking quietly.

I wasn't expecting Paul of all people to be the one answering. But I didn't say anything to him. I just stood there, watching as his chest swelled and pulsed, his arms shaking and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. If he had transformed then and there, and suddenly decided to rip me to shreds, I'd have let him. Because I knew without a doubt that he was acting this way because of something I'd done.

Our eyes held, and he moved out of my way, allowing me entrance into the familiar threshold. But nothing in all the 18, twisted years of my life could match what I saw now.

The whole pack was there, none of them even looking my way. What I assumed to be the entire council was inside the small living room, and Billy sat in his wheel-chair next to the couch, holding a large hand in his. It was soaked in blood.

I didn't have to see the face to know it was Jake's hand he was holding. The salty, rusty smell in the air told me it was human's blood on his hand, and I saw strands of what looked like flame colored string on his hands. No...

_Victoria._

She'd found Jacob. And now he was dieing. And it was completely, absolutely, positively my fault.

I walked forward. No one moved to stop me, or get out of my way. I pushed my way through, desperate to see the face of my once-savior. I stopped short, watching him. Open wounds still bled, still healing over, but not fast enough. It wasn't just open wounds either, I could see the internal bleeding, and they were so deep. Those wounds were healing as well, but I knew he'd die. There was so much blood...

Brown eyes locked with mine, and a smile accompanied them. This wasn't Sam's Jacob, the look in his eyes and the way his smile presented itself told me that outright. This was my Jacob, showing me how sorry he was that he couldn't have done better. That after everything, this was how it had ended up. He was dieing, and it was _all my fault_.

I knew Jacob wouldn't agree with me, and I blinked, my eye-sight having suddenly become blurry. Shakily, I drew closer to him, finally dropping to my knees. Jacob's hand fell from Billy's grip, instead reaching to me and cupping my cheek. The smell of blood made me nauseas, but I didn't complain. My nose was so stuffed at the moment that I could barely make out the stench anyways.

Jacob's eyes became concerned, and he spoke, as if it took a great amount of energy to do so. "Bells honey, what's wrong?"

I sniffed, putting my hand over his and not answering. My silence only made him become more worried, so I finally answered. It was enough that he was dieing and that I knew it was my fault, but I didn't want him to be worried for me when I knew it took so much energy. "What do you think, Jake? I mean really, what could possibly make me want to break down and cry an ocean?" He winced, and I mentally kicked myself. I shouldn't be doing this when he was in pain. "Jake, why? Why did you go after Victoria?"

Jake rolled his eyes, as if I was missing an obvious point. "Bella, you know why. We couldn't let her roam free when she was killing people. Besides," here he paused, wiping away the still-spilling tears, "I wasn't about to let that leech hurt you."

"But you didn't think that seeing you like this would hurt me? That watching you die would tear me to pieces?"

Jake snorted, and winced again. "This is nothing. It'll heal by sundown."

I shook my head. "Internal bleeding doesn't just heal, Jake! You're dieing!"

"No, I'm not. It's just some deep cuts, Bells, I'm fine."

I shook my head again, laying my head against the couch. Arguing with him was pointless, he wouldn't listen.

Sam spoke then, nearly making me jump out of my skin. "Jacob."

He looked away from me, toward his leader. "Yeah?"

Sam was silent for a moment, before answering slowly. "She's... She's right."

Jake was confused. "About what? The internal bleeding? So it'll take a couple days, that's nothing. I'll just take it easy." I looked up at Jake, noting the change in his voice. He wasn't just confused... He didn't believe it. Didn't _want_ to believe it. "There's nothing to worry about."

"If it were just that..." Sam sighed, and I turned around to look at him. His eyes were mournful, as was his posture. I was right. "If it was just the bleeding, then you're right. You would be fine in a couple days... But that's not the case this time. She bit you Jake."

Now I was the one who was confused. What did that have to do with anything? It wasn't as if a vampire bite would affect a werewolf. They'd be immune to the venom... Wouldn't they?

Jake didn't seem to think so. "Th-That's not possible! I'd have felt it!"

Same shook his head. "No, you wouldn't. It's all ready--"

"Wait, wait a minute." I still didn't understand. What did a bite from Victoria have to do with Jake dieing? "Why would Victoria biting Jake mean anything? Aren't you all immune to the venom?"

No one answered me. I looked back at Jake, and his mouth was hanging open in shock and disbelief. What the hell?! "Jake, what does Victoria biting you have to do with this?!"

"... We aren't immune to it. If anything, it's a poison to us." Jake finally answered. A poison? His eyes bore into mine. "There's no such thing as a hybrid, Bella. We don't turn into blood suckers. The venom just kills us."

The wind was suddenly knocked out of my lungs, and I was choking on air. My hand flew to my throat, and I squeezed it all most painfully only to let go when Jake's large hand pulled it away. This wasn't possible. How could a vampire's venom kill a werewolf? _They're made to kill them!_

I knew the others had left, discreetly giving us some much-needed privacy. More tears welled up in my eyes, and no amount of rubbing would send them away. I sobbed, heaved, and wrapped my arms around the blood-covered body. Twin muscled arms held me close, and I could feel the strain. He wasn't holding me like he had before. It wasn't the bear-tight grip this time. It was so much weaker, and slackening by the second.

He was shaking, but not from anger or fury. I only knew this because of the acid-hot tears that fell onto my shoulder, and the sobs that broke through Jake's lips with my own. "I don't wanna die, Bells, I don't wanna die..."

Incoherency was the only thing I was capable of, and I could only clutch at Jake tighter as his grip weakened, and his breath was coming heavy. I pulled away from him, and did the one thing I thought I'd never do to Jacob Black.

I kissed him.

_'You'll always be my savior.'_ I pulled away, as did he. He wasn't shocked, or even surprised. Instead, he had a smile on his face, and I couldn't help but smile back, even as I watched his eyes close for the last time.

The funeral was just yesterday. My best friend had been dead for five days and counting. I was torn, a new hole in my chest making itself known. The only thing I had left to hold onto was that he'd wanted me to be happy. That's what Sam had told me. And I believe him, only because this was Jake he was talking about. Jake had never been able to deny me anything.

I sat on my front porch, the usual rain accompanying my mood. Silent tears fells from my eyes, and I did nothing to hide them, even as I saw the silver Volvo pull into my driveway. I didn't go to greet Edward as I usually would, nor did I stand to wait for him. I just sat in a tight ball, and only squeezed myself tighter when I felt two pairs of cold arms embrace me, and a sense of calm wash over me.

"Bella?" Alice's voice cut through my thoughts. "Bella, what happened?"

Like I had been for the past few days, I was silent. When I'd gathered my bearings, I spoke quietly, though I knew they'd hear it despite the vigorous pounding of the rain. "He's dead. Jacob killed Victoria, and she bit him. He's dead."

They were silent, not knowing what to say, and Jasper's calming affect wore off, and I was held even tighter. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head sadly. "I know you aren't, Edward. Don't pretend for me, please." I felt him stiffen, and then nod slightly, and my eyes dropped, covering my vision in black.

The last thing I heard was the mournful howls of the broken pack.

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**P.S. I'd like to post an Alternate Ending to this, with much happier results. Would you like me to? Tell me in your review!**


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